Practicing self dentistry in a church pew never ends up well.
Our daily cautionary tale starts with a holiday toy catalog saved from the pits of our recycling bin by a seven year old about two weeks after Christmas. Like many of hopeful children in the previous months leading up to the biggest shopping season of the year, her carefully scanning eyes found what her heart desired. The sudden toy that no one could live without was a horse ranch with a farm house, a barn and animals galore. Forget that she already had two barns or multiple toy houses, and dare I fail to mention hundreds of plastic animals. The catalog had the answer to the problem we never knew what we had. The child needed the ranch!
Knowing that she needed $162, her mission was no doubtably clear. The shopper began feverishly counting her birthday money and quickly realized that her $80 in gift cards and $10 in cash brought her nowhere close to the price of the ranch. Opportunities presented themselves to the desperate first grader, but the minor chores didn’t bring in the dough as fast as the not so horseless wonder wanted them to. So in the middle of the night with perhaps the tooth fairy in sight, a plan was wobbling into existence. If she was not saving fast enough and the chores were not bringing in the cold hard cash, this child was going to cut her teeth on a new method.
On Sunday morning, during a homily about mindfulness, the first grader began practicing her dental skills. Pushing back and forth, the little tooth that was not ready to make its grand entrance outside of its gummy existence had seen that his eviction notice. This momma thought for sure that a call during Sunday school was going to happen, but the bloody chin scene happened at home with an announcement only a town cryer could love. The tooth fairy would come to the child’s pillow that night and made a fair exchange of $2 (can we talk about the price of a tooth being so inflated!) for a tooth was made. A lesson on economics was learned and the other barely loose tooth in the mouth had the same exact fate the following day in gym class. The tooth fairy, unaware of the new start up business of a seven year old dentist, paid a staggering $2.35 for the new tooth.
Although the now little less toothy grinner does not have her must have piece of real estate yet, she acts like a victory has been made. However, the tooth fairy failed to tell the money hungry child one thing. The Easter Bunny has a ranch waiting to hop its way into our home!
