Is there a perfect artform of tipping at a restaurant?
Last evening my husband and I took our younger children out to eat at a sit down restaurant that serves burgers and sandwiches. Our waiter was not the most friendly server, but he was quick and prompt. For anyone who has little kids with short attention spans, we can surely appreciate speedy more than anything else. As the check comes, we have the discussion over what we should tip as what he and I see as appropriate tipping can vary. Sure, he did not ask how the food was, but I am glad we did not have that magical moment that frequently happens when they ask you immediately after you take a bite. The waiter did ask if we needed or wanted anything else near the end of the meal.
My husband typically tips off the total bill minus the tax and is a 15%, 18% or 20% guy. In his eyes, if the food makes it to the table it’s 15% and outstanding for him earns a 20%. Most of the time, the tip is usually 18%. I do not see his reasoning for tipping pretax as I feel that it is not the waiter’s fault that there is tax involved. My husband does not have experience working in a restaurant where tips are the primary source of income.
I grew in a household where one of my parents worked in a restaurant and tips where a prominent part of their pay. Although, I took a different career route, I can appreciate all that wait staff must do. Waiting on customers, balancing each table’s needs and keeping up with their orders in the kitchen. I also feel empathy for them as often times the speed of the food being made and the behaviors of unpleasant diners are out of their control. When considering a tip, I often take into consideration how busy the waiter/waitress are and how they were towards us. I consider 20% on the lower end and will tip up to 40% if they were incredible. I also typically pay in cash so if I have $20 instead of $15, keep it.
Now, prior to the pandemic, we used to eat out with friends. I admit there is a friend of the family that I am not a big fan of eating out with. It’s not the etiquette that they display at the table, but rather their “tip-clock.” For a person who manages people who live on tips, it is rather surprising how they handle tipping. So this “tip-clock” work, shortly after the last person finishes their meal, he sets his watch. After five minutes, the amount of the tip starts to get smaller the long he has to wait for the bill. I am not the world’s biggest fan of this practice, but everyone is different.
The worst by far was an ex-in law. I was naturally on edge with this person, but their behavior in a restaurant was legendary. If a textbook of how one should not be in a restaurant, he would be it. The awkward joking, the dinner etiquette and then there was the tip. Not only did he provide a monetary tip each time, he also would provide a tip on how he perceived that they could do better. Where it was appearance, promptness or their customer service, everything in his eyes was fair game. I would always leave mortified of how things went down.
Circling back around to last evening, you may be wondering how much the waiter was given for a tip. My husband paid and the waiter received 15% which I did not agree on. It was still more than $7 and barely was over minimum wage. Perhaps there is no cookie cutter tip process, it’s all in the eyes of customer.
